Hey everybody, PurplaPainter321 here. I am at a cross roads. I have to choose either the right turn or the left turn. Being who I am I get very confused in these kind of situations. If I choose one or the other I am afraid that I chose the wrong path and feel guilty about what I could have done differently. In a sense I am at a crossroads in real life at the moment. I choose to play a sport that on occasion I enjoy and dread every time I play it because I am terrified of messing up or not doing well. Or I choose my own path and find a sport I really enjoy and join the team or whatever.
I get a sick feeling in my stomach every time I try to talk with my parent and tell my situation. Mainly because I am terrified of what the parent will think (And if you are reading this stick with me for a moment). My parent tries to tell me stories from the past to try to relate my situation to their past ones. But, I have a totally different situation. I have a parent that absolutely loves a sport that I can enjoy on occasions and have it as a hobby, and I feel guilty every time my parent tries to talk to me about staying with it and not being a quitter. Well, I think I have something to say.
"I am not a quitter. I am just open to other sports. Even though you love the sport, it doesn't mean I have to. I know you spent some money on supplies, and I thank you for supporting me. If you could just give me a chance to explore outside of this sport. Don't try and lecture me, because each time you do I get a sick, guilty, sad feeling in my stomach and I just want to leave. So don't take this the wrong way. I still love you and appreciate what you do. Think of it as an opportunity for me to expand my talents to new sports. "
Ugh. I am so glad to get that off my chest. It is easier to say something like that online than in person. What do you guys think? So let us get down to business.
Okay, so it is 9:30 a.m. and I am already spent thanks to cross country practice. I haven't run for a couple weeks and that was probably the worst decision a future runner could make. Because, I barely made it through the warm up without stopping. At the end of the 10 minute warm up I was breathing like I had asthma, ran a marathon, and did an hour long cardiac work out. I guess I need to get back into the swing of things.
In other news, I really want to get Runner 2 on Steam because at the moment I have babysitting money and Runner 2 is only $14.99 (translation: 15 dollars). I have seen let's plays of Runner 2 and it seems like a)fun game, b)looks cool, and c)I would most definitely have fun playing it. If any of you gamers out there have played this game and are reading this blog, comment and tell me your opinion on it.
Anyways, this has been a sort of rushed blog I just wanted to get that first part out of my system. Believe me I have had fun playing the sport it is just not something I want to pursue. So, if you read the blog all the way through, good on you. If not, I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to hear me whine for the first little bit. Have a super awesome week, and I will write to all you people of the Internet on Monday! :) See Ya! -PurplePainter321
Ems, I'm glad you found a way to express yourself. I agree with you, it always feels better to let your emotions out so they don't have to keep bouncing around in your head and building up more frustration. I'm not always good at talking about my feelings, but writing seems to work for me too:)
ReplyDeleteI can see how you could feel a bit trapped at having to turn right or left at your crossroads. Maybe, it would help if you didn't feel like your decision had to be so permanent. Instead of feeling like there are only 2 paths, you might feel better if you just thought of it as 2 different sides of the same road. That way you wouldn't have to turn your back completely on one road, but you could just meander back and forth...happily exploring, keeping what you do enjoy and then just adding to it. The beauty of this journey is that there is no limit as to how wide our path can be! Love you:)